the resemblence is uncanny...

ladies and gentlemen, my halloween costume...

whyyyyyyyyy

Dear ridiculously unnecessary annoying obsessive compulsive disorder,

considering the fact that you have been kicking my ass for basically the last ten years, it would be really great if once and a while you could let me go a day or two without flaring up.

but seriously, i think it's time we started talking about getting a divorce.

peace,
Sara

i have no words

last night i had the immense honor of sitting less than 20ft away from this man while he played his beautiful music

growl

and apparently neither will the umbrella i was using today

The aforementioned DVD

if i could be granted one superhero power, i would ask for the power of restraint... as in the power to restrain myself from spending obcene amounts of money on things i really don't need.

Prime example of why i need this power:

over the last month or so I have developed a serious obsession for the book "Generation Kill" and the mini-series with the same name that was based on the book. This sprung from my love for all things Alexander Skarsgard, which sprung from my mild fascination with the show True Blood.
I was able to download all of the episodes online and my roommate and i proceeded to watch them frequently, always on the look out for any news or extras about our favorite characters and actors.
At first, having the episodes on my computer was enough for me. They were pretty good quality and I felt they could hold me over until I was able to get the DVDs for Christmas or some other holiday that involved presents. I use the past tense because yesterday that all went out the window.
For some reason, most stores don't carry Generation Kill on DVD. While I kind of like this, because it means that my liking the show is somewhat original, it has also aided in me resisting going out and buying the DVDs. But a trip to Best Buy killed all of that. Upon entering the store i was able to find the DVDs and once I had it in my hand i simply couldn't put it down.
And this is how I ended up spending $58.00 on a DVD set I knew I could get for Christmas or would be cheaper if i just ordered it from Amazon.

So please... If someone could teach me restraint I would really appreiciate it... my bank account really can't handle this anymore...

is this thing on?

Clearly i am horrible about keeping this thing updated. Back in April when i started this blog my intention was to update daily at least, by now it's been over a month since my last post.

It would be impossible to recap everything (and i truly don't have time to), but here is a short list of what has basically occured:

• I moved into my apartment - I cannot explain how much I love living in Cambridge. my roommate Natalie and i get along fabulously (we were friends before we moved in together). I am going to be very sad when she graduates in May and I am forced to live with some sucky replacement who won't watch Generation Kill Marathons with me.
• School started - Classes are... classes. as my third year here at Emerson i'm kind of over it, but i am doing my best not to let myself get bogged down with school work. i'm also proud to say that for the first time i'm not leaving all of my assignments for the last minute.
• Sigma-dness - My reign as president has officially begun and while i may not be calm at all times i think i am handling my position well. My sisters are fantastic, plans are in the works, and i'm becoming more and more familiar with the other greeks at my school. And to think it's only October. Who knows what the year will bring.

That's the real important stuff. In the background of course there is my ongoing Alexander Skarsgard obsession which has only gotten worse since i posted his picture back in August. The only thing on my mind now is the fact that in less than a week I will be in the same room as Andrew McMahon... i could die...

I promise I will try to update more. Stay Tuned.

It's the new me... you like?

I was able to escape to find some internet access. To celebrate, I am posting a picture of my new haircut...

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

So tomorrow I'm leaving on a jet plane for two weeks of family fun (?) in Hilton Head, South Carolina... Not sure when I'll be able to post again. Hopefully there will be a few trips to Barnes And Noble where there is wireless available for purchase. If not, I'm likely to go insane with only my Ipod and a sudoko book to keep me entertained.

As a last hurrah before I leave for the land of golf, I spent the weekend going back and forth between my grandparent's house in Brooklyn and my aunt's apartment in SoHo. It was a really great couple of days and I was able to see Vicki, Tracy, Michael, and the G-Rents one more time before heading to school since I probably won't be back till Thanksgiving. Here are some of this highlights of the weekend:

• Watching the entire second season of "TrueBlood" (and then a day later talking about it with Michael)
• Getting my haircut at the Salon owned by Nick Arojo, the guy who used to do hair on "What Not To Where" (My hair has not been this short since Victory... and no, Nick did not cut my hair)
• Taking the ferry to Staten Island and then immediately taking one back to Manhattan (because really, what is there to do in Staten Island?)
• Walking on the High Line in the rain
• Learning I have a higher tolerance for scary movies than I thought (I watched "Last House on the Left" with Vicki and Michael and appeared to be enjoying the gory scenes a bit too much... Vicki was a bit frightened [of both the movie and me])

Hopefully this vacation will go well. Although my family and I have been going to Hilton Head for almost 10 years, this will be the first time i've been there where it has just been my Dad, Stepmom, sisters, and me. As long as I am able to find some time alone, I should be fine. But I must say, I am extremely excited to lay on the beach with a diet coke and my Ipod and get a great tan.

One for each personality

Earlier today I had a conversation with some friends about how I read. Meaning, when I read do I read just one book at a time or do I read multiple books at a time. I am (regretfully) the latter. It wasn't always how I read, but for some reason books have a hard time keeping my attention lately. Currently, I am reading:

• The Godfather by Mario Puzo (about 100 pages in)
• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (14 pages in, but the introduction is a good 50 pages, so really I've read 64)
• Shiksa Goddess by Wendy Wasserstein (more than halfway done)
• I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley (3 stories in)
• Perfect Fifths by Megan McCafferty (90 something pages in, this is the one I'm the most ashamed of considering this is the final book of my favorite series)

And to top it all off, I'm about to add another book to the list (Twelve by Nick McDonell). If this were a few years ago I'd have burned through all of these books in no time, but it really seems like ever since I started Emerson the last thing I want to do in my free time is read. Hopefully this will right itself, or pretty soon I am going to find myself with a bookshelf full of unfinished books.

Meet my obsession du jour

Eric Northman from True Blood, also known as Alexander Skarsgård

Edward Cullen, eat your heart out...

What a lovely way to spend a Monday..

Today I went on a road trip with Jasmine and her friend Shawn to Concord, MA. I may do a big long post about it later, but for now here are 5 things I loved about the day:

1. Trespassing on Ralph Waldo Emerson's Property

2. Seeing famous graves (Thoreau, Hawthorne, Alcott, & Emerson)

3. And then having a picnic on Emerson's

4. Eating Shaw's cookies

5. Swimming in intelligent water at Walden Pond

My Happiness Alphabet

While on a bus ride back from Cambridge, I got bored. In an attempt to quell my boredom, I decided to right a list of things that make me happy... This then turned into me seeing if I could find at least one thing for every letter of the alphabet. Well it turns out a lot of things make me happy, so here it is... My Happiness Alphabet....

A is for... Andrew McMahon, Aunts
B is for... Brand New, Bagels, Butter, Bright Colors, Boloco, Brooklyn
C is for... Cupcakes, Cambridge, Collages, Chelsea Handler
D is for... Diet Coke, Damien Rice, Duvets, Daniel Tosh, Dulce De Leche Latte Carmelezatto (Gelato)
E is for... Emerson
F is for... Fan Fiction, Frappuccinos, Fresh Mozzarella
G is for... Gramma & Grampa, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Gnocci
H is for... Hoodies, Haircuts
I is for... Inside Jokes, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
J is for... Jessica Darling Novels, J.Crew
K is for... Kings Of Leon, Kevin Smith Movies
L is for... Letters, Lemon Sorbet
M is for... Movies, Music, Macaroni and Cheese, Macs, Martins Potato Rolls
N is for... Neil Patrick Harris, NYC, New Notebooks
O is for... OLVA
P is for... Pizza (Paulies or Pizza Hut, Preferably), Pasta, Pens, Pink Fuzzy Bunnies
Q is for... Queens Of Leon (My Kings Of Leon cover band)
R is for... Ray Bans, Rpattz
S is for... Sigma, Summer, So You Think You Can Dance, Salt, Skinny Jeans, She's The Man, Shaws Cookies
T is for... Twitter, This Blog
U is for... Uggs, Urban Outfitters
V is for... Veronica Mars
W is for... Wonder Bread, White Hanes T's
X is for... X-Terras
Y is for... Yankees
Z is for... Zack Morris

grahhhh

Reason #9809845039495872 why I need to get out of my 6-9:45pm Wednesday class:

The Andrew McMahon concert is on a Wednesday.

Why small schools suck...

Dear Emerson,

Please let me take the classes I want. I understand you can't let 50,000 people be in the same class, but 19 or 20 people in a Publishing class really isn't that bad. If I get raped walking home from my 6-9:45pm class I am totally blaming you.

Do you really want that on your hands?

Think about it,
Sara

i'm trying to resist switching to tumblr... i don't know how successful i'm going to me...

If only I could click my heels

For the next two years, this will be my home...

The perfect housewarming gift

His Name is Tucker Max. He Is An Asshole.

About this time last year I bought a book. I had heard about it before, even read a page or two, but had never been inspired to get it until then. When I got home that day, just in time for lunch, I left the bag containing the book on my kitchen counter and proceeded to eat. After lunch, my stepmom noticed the recognizable logo on the bag as our town's bookstore and reached into it to see what I purchased.

Upon seeing the book, her face converted into one of disgust and she and my father proceeded to lecture me about how deplorable my taste in "literature" was (yes they actually used air quotes). My father even asked me if I had the receipt and made me promise that I'd return it. Being me, I ignored both of them and defiantely placed the book on my bookself. When I finally got around to it I ended up reading the book in one day, laughing hysterically the entire time.

The book was "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" by Tucker Max

It quickly became my obsession du jour. I spent my time researching everything I could about the book and the author. During one of these sessions, I found out he was turning one of his stories into a movie. I was over the moon. I then looked into who the cast was and nearly shattered mirrors with my squeals when I found out Matt Czuchry would be playing Tucker in the movie. Now for those of you who don't know, Matt played Logan Huntzberger on my all time favorite show, Gilmore Girls. My excitement nearly gave me a heart attack.

Now, after more than a year of waiting, the release of the movie is a little more than a month away. I've watched the (just released) trailer more times than I would like to admit, and I have a feeling a 2nd reading of the book is in my near future.

What can I say... I have a thing for Assholes...

Eww

Reason 92837498347593 why I have to get out of New Jersey: The person who sent this text lives in my county:

(201): bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

Yes actually, it is.

Things I am looking forward to:

• Moving into my new apartment
• Seeing my big and our fellow Sigmas
• Ending my internship
• (hopefully) Getting my nose re-pierced
• Getting my hair cut
• The new season of Gossip Girl
  

for vicki...

In the airwaves

It's been a while since I posted music, so I figured I would give that a try again. And since I just recently wrote a post about Andrew McMahon ("my Paul") and how much I love his music, I thought it would be fitting to post a compilation of my favorite songs (in alphabetical order, because any other type of order would have been too difficult).

1. Airports
...planes made her feel like she could get away...
2. Dark Blue
...if you've ever been alone, you'll know...
3. If I Die (Live)
...do you remember what i said, while he's sleeping in your bed...
4. If You C Jordan
...i don't care if you die your hair you'll always be a little red head bitch...
5. Just Like A Woman
...please don't let on that you knew me when i was hungry...
6. Konstantine
...i always catch the clock, it's 11:11 and now you wanna talk...
7. Last Straw, AZ
...i wrote your name on top, i knew you'd never look...
8. Me And The Moon
...away with these nightmares, away with suburbia...
9. Rescued
...i'm feeling like i might need to be near you...
10. When It Goes Down
...i was really thinking i could be another lincoln...

A few days ago during the ride home from work with my father, we had a conversation about my post Emerson plans. He was a bit shocked by my willingness to discuss such things since we can't talk about my upcoming move into my first apartment without fighting.

After a bit of bickering, I told him what I've been telling everyone who asks about such things. That although I enjoy going to school in Boston, there is no way in hell I'll stay after graduation. My plan is to move to New York City and do the page program at CBS (basically a paid internship). So I won't have to deal with paying for two leases, my grandparents have kindly offered to let me stay in my aunt's old room. This would also give me time to look for an apartment.

My father was fine with the plan up until the last part.

"You're not living with Gramma and Grampa!" he said with such conviction and disdain you'd think I told him I was dropping out of school to become a prostitute.

I proceeded to remind him of two things:

1. The aformentioned fact that I refuse to live in Boston.
2. When I was younger and discussing college was simply something I did to pass the time, I clearly remember my stepmom saying none of her children were allowed to move back home after college. I (of course) took these words for gospel. My father (of course) thought I was insane for doing so.

"No one is kicking you out of your home, Sara," My dad replied. "You'll live at home for the summer while we look for an apartment and in August you can move out."

Now if you're a loyal reader of this blog, you should remember a post from a few weeks ago in which I formally declared that after this summer I would no longer be calling New Jersey home or spending more than a week in this God forsaken state. My father however refused to accept my hatred of the state as a reason why I shouldn't live here and just like that my carefully constructed plan crumbled like a fucking cookie.

As my role model Michael Corleone would say, "Just when I thought I was out they pull me back in!"

Spooky....

I got bored at work today, so I decided to look up the traits of my astrological sign to see if any of them were accurate for me. Here is what I found. Clearly I was meant to be a Capricorn. (I'm going to strike through the ones i honestly don't think describe me and bold the ones that are frighteningly correct)

Positive Traits:

• Practical and prudent
• Ambitious and disciplined
• Patient and careful
• Humorous and reserved

Negative Traits:

• Pessimistic and fatalistic
• Miserly and grudging

Capricorn Likes: hot, simple food, antiques, history, duties and responsibilities, not being pressured by others, having plenty of unconditional love, lots of personal privacy, new books, and expensive gemstones.

Capricorn Dislikes: untidiness and disorder of all kinds, being teased, surprises, new ideas, loneliness, being made to feel useless or incompetent, and being embarrassed in public.

so me it's not even funny

Brain Damage (Eminem Cover) - Laura Marling

if teleportation was possible
i'd be in Somerville right now

Summer is for...

When I like something, I obsess over it. I allow it to consume me. So because I really like updating this blog (another obsession perhaps?) I decided to make a list of my summer obsessions:

1. J.Crew Tissue Ts - They are v-neck, kind of baggy, and made of the softest material known to man. Although they were originally nearly $30 each, every now and then i'll find they've gone on sale. I currently own seven (all different colors) and i plan to buy the rest of them. Chelsea, if you thought I was kidding when I said I was going to impliment a Sigma uniform consisting of skinny jeans and v-neck t's, I wasn't
2. Series Gringas - This website has downloads of recent episodes of basically every show you could ever dream of. I've been able to get into so many new (and old) shows because of it. My current kick is How I Met Your Mother. So I guess this one is really two obsessions... or an obsession within an obsession.
3. The Hangover -I really didn't think anything of it when I first started seeing previews. It didn't appeal to me all that much, so I figured I'd simply let it pass. Then (for some reason) I got roped into seeing it. I swear to God, seeing that movie is a fucking religious experience. So of course after seeing it, I had to look up everything about the best looking actor in the movie (as is the same with every movie or tv show i love). This leads us to number 4...
   
4. Bradley Cooper - I first saw this gentleman in He's Just Not That Into You. I thought he was cute, but nothing special. I was probably obsessing about some other actor at the time, so I was too busy to notice. But boy did I notice him in The Hangover. At 34, he has been married and starred in several failed TV shows. One of which was Kitchen Confidential. Although it only lasted 4 episodes (13 were filmed) it's fucking gold I swear.

There are probably more, but my hands are cramping and it's making me not want to type anymore. I will update the list once I can move my fingers again.

I'm going to hell...

For the past couple weeks I'd kind of been regretting my decision to go back to Inside Edition. If I was lucky I'd get maybe one or two assignments a day (which I'd finish way to quickly) and then spend the rest of the time I was there counting down the minutes till 5:00.

Then Michael Jackson died.

The past few days have been so incredibly busy that I haven't even had enough time to check the clock. I've probably worked at least once with all of the producers, giving them a chance to learn my name. This of course means that when all of this insanity dies down, I'll be the intern they go to when they have work.

So um thanks Michael, for ya know... biting it.

Well then....

I have a small bladder.

This is especially true when I drink diet coke with ice as was the case this morning.

So because of the small bladder and the diet coke with ice, I really had to pee this morning when I got off the train. Rather than hold it in until I got to work (it's a ten(ish) minute walk), I decided to go into the Columbus Circle mall and use the public restroom. Big mistake.

Now I don't really think what follows could be described as embarrassing. It doesn't even have anything to do with me except for the fact that I was there. I just really needed to write it down. Now back to the story.

So I make my way to the bathroom (which is at the end of a creepy hallway) and upon entering I hear a little sniffling. By the time I get into the stall, the sniffling has turned into wracking sobs. I'm trying to do my business, but I feel really awkward intruding on a private moment. So I finish when all of a sudden this woman is not only sobbing, but screaming. My mind starts to race. I don't hear anyone else so I don't think she's getting raped or hurt. I've seen a few too many episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" so I allowed myself to entertain the possibility that she could be giving birth.

Then the screams get even louder. I'm talking blood curdling. At this point I've finished what I came there to do, but I'm scared to leave the stall. I don't want to walk out at the same time as this banshee who I'm sure will kill me upon sight. So I simply stand there waiting for her to finish.

After a few minutes she stopped, slammed the door to her stall open and ran out of the bathroom. She didn't even wash her hands. Once I was sure she was gone, I exited as well. Having safely made my way back out of the creepy hallway I proceeded to make my way to work, no longer needing to pee, kind of wishing I'd just held it in.

It all just fits...

When I was a freshman in high school I fell in love. I was flipping through the channels on the t.v. and came across a televised concert. The music was fantastic. Lively, with a little bit of an edge and a whole lot of heart. What really caught my attention though was the guy jumping on his piano and screaming about some little red head bitch named Jordan. I was smitten. I immediately looked up the band online to find out who this band was.
It was Something Corporate. More specifically, it was Andrew McMahon.

In the six years that have followed, Andrew and his music have always held a special place in my heart. When he started Jack's Mannequin, when he was diagnosed with leukemia, when he kicked leukemia's ass, I was right there singing along with his songs. Even through the hard times, nothing has been able to put a smile on my face like one of his songs. Although I know he'll never read this, I just want to say thank you to Andrew for sharing his music with me and the rest of the world.

Playing Catch Up... Again

So I disappeared again. I really didn't want that to happen. My original plan when I started this blog was to update it constantly, but obviously, that hasn't happened. So once again, here are a few of the key things that have happened in the two weeks since my last post.

1. I was given two more days at work. As some of you might have known when I was asked how many days I wanted to do at Inside Edition this summer, I told them four days (Tuesday-Friday). So you can imagine how bummed I was when they only gave me two (Tuesday and Friday). Luckily, last week my boss told me that I could have the other two days as well.
2. I got some furniture and the lease for my apartment. I seriously cannot wait to set it all up and live alone for the first time. I absolutely adore the girl I'm going to be living with (Natalie). We have so many plans for the various theme parties we're going to be having, the first one is going to be 90s Warped Tour!
3. I wrote a 14 pg letter (7 loose leaf pages back and front) to my dad detailing why the woman formerly known as my biological mother cannot in any way shape or form be in my life. He asked me to write it in a letter because for some reason he and I can't get through a conversation (especially about her) without one of us yelling. I'm almost positive he understands now
4. I finally got to hang out with one of my best friends from high school. I really need to make plans with the rest of them, but because I now work Tues-Fri, the only times we can hang out are the weekends.
   
5. I got dinner with one of my lovely Sigmas (Marissa) and we have made fabulous plans to go to a kareoke bar in the city once more of us are in the city. It was so nice to see her and talk about all of the exciting things we want to do next semester.

That's all I can think of right now. More updates to come... I promise.

Playing Catch Up

So I kind of disappeared for a few weeks, so I figured I'd give a quick update post of what went on during that time:

1. After only being given two days at work (although I asked for 4), I decided to volunteer at my local library. Now, on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I walk to town and basically do whatever they tell me to do. If I was smart I would have gotten an actual job, but apparently I like being broke.
2. I might have finally convinced my dad why having any sort of contact with my biological mother is a horrible idea. This of course was only made possible by my breaking down in tears after screaming at each other, but whatever works.
3. Realizing that her plans to get in touch with me through my dad were failing, the bio-mom resorted to the Internet, stalking my facebook and myspace. As a result, I have made my profile unsearchable on FB, deleted my myspace, as a precautionary measure I deleted my twitter (which I am super pissed about), and removed any trace of my last name from this here blog. Basically I am un-googleable.
4. I had the most amazing weekend in Boston. It only took me 7 hours to get there, but it was well worth it. It was my sorority's 30th anniversary and so many of the sisters came together for a reunion. Although most of us hadn't met before, the bond between all of us was obvious. I cannot wait for the next reunion. And having three days with my Big didn't hurt either.

That's the big stuff.... Coming up in my life there is the Merians family reunion thingy this weekend at my house (kill me now) and next weekend some of my favorites are coming over to celebrate father's day. I'm thinking having Vicki and Tracy around me will make up for the major suckfest that will be this weekend.

And now for something completely frivolous

I had an incredibly emotionally draining conversation tonight and I have my first official day at my internship tomorrow so I decided to do this to take my mind off both of those things.

Every girl needs a hot character to go on an adventure with...
1. Who would you lounge with and read a good book on a rainy afternoon: Jess Mariano from Gilmore Girls
2. Who would you go camping with and let him hold you as you watch the fire: Dean Winchester from Supernatural
3. Who would you enjoy a good dive bar with, grind yourself against them and perhaps start a fight that will lead to sex on a wall: Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights
4. Who would you dance with: Finn from Gilmore Girls
5. Who would be waiting in the bottom of the stairs with a sharp suit on to sweep you off your feet: Oliver Queen from Smallville
6. Who would you love to get into a police chase with that will lead to hot sex, of course: Don Lamb from Veronica Mars (although he would be the one chasing me since he's the sheriff)
7. Who would you play house with: Mark Sloan from Grey's Anatomy
8. Who would you take shopping: Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl
9. Who would you take on a walk down the beach near sunset: Carter Baizen from Gossip Girl
10. Who would you runaway with and possibly marry in a small, questionable chapel: Justin Walker from Brothers & Sisters

Remind me, why did I want this?

words i need to learn to live by...

IE

Tomorrow is my second first day at Inside Edition. Although I have been looking forward to this for quite some time, I'm also nervous to the point of nausea. There is no doubt in my mind that it's going to well, but until I walk through the doors of suite 1300 and someone recognizes me the back of my neck will be hot enough to fry an egg. Just writing about it is giving me the shakes.

To make matters worse, because I'm a cautious person, I emailed my boss the other day to ask her if my nose stud (it's not a hoop so I feel awkward calling it a nose ring) would be a problem. I told her it was just a tiny thing, but that I'd be willing to take it out if she advised me to do so. Of course she did just that and now my face feels incredibly empty. I definitely plan on getting it pierced again in September, but it still sucks not having it. I felt like it gave me an edge and in all honesty (and insanity) I think it made me look prettier. The only upside to taking it out is that people will no longer think I'm picking my nose when I adjust it.

she makes all the boy moose go "wahhhhh"

Dear Anne Hathaway,

Although I would be all for a Princess Diaries 3 (especially if Chris Pine comes back), please continue doing movies like Rachel Getting Married. Your portrayal of a recovering drug addict was sublime. I loved every second of it and would gladly pay money to go see a sequel.

Sincerely,
Sara

P.S. seriously, who do I have to talk to about getting PD3 made?

He knows how to make a girl swoon...

Another reason why Chris Pine should impregnate me: this article from the June 2009 Cosmopolitan entitled "10 Things Guys Wish You Knew".

Sad but true...

Listening to a mix of Kings Of Leon and Brand New while drinking a diet coke with ice is a great way to spend a Wednesday night.

The only improvement I could even think of making would be adding a couple Sigmas... then it would be perfect.

Home Smelly Home

"I am a human being who just happens to be from New Jersey"

...Chelsea Handler...

Oh Chelsea, the fact that you're from one of the most ridiculed states in the whole U.S. of A makes feel a little bit better that I too reside there. Once upon a time, when I had first moved to Yonkers, I was proud of my New Jersey roots. It was after all the home state of Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, and Point Pleasant. But after returning to New Jersey after living in New York State for five years, I find myself cringing every time I admit to someone that I hail from the dirty burbs.

I don't plan on spending much time in the state this summer. With any luck I will get the days I asked for at my internship (Tuesday-Friday), which will mean four out of three days of the week will be spent in my beloved city. Knowing how painful those remaining three days will be for me, two of my aunts (Vicki and Tracy) have already offered to let me stay at their apartments sometimes. I'm also in possession of a set of keys to my grandparents house so I will be spending quite a bit of time there as well.

This summer will be the last that I spend in the armpit of America. As of right now the plan is that I will stay in Boston for the duration of the time I'm at Emerson (two more years) and then as soon as I graduate move to New York.

New Jersey, I have given you enough of my time. Consider this my letter of resignation.

That's just my baby daddy...

5 Celebrities I'd Allow to Impregnate me:

1. Chris Pine

Positives: Killer smile. Gorgeous eyes. Looks good in Ray-Bans

Negative: Recently went on a date with Audrina from The Hills so along with getting me pregnant he'd probably give me herpes as well

2. Jared Followill

Positives: Self taught musician. Gorgeous eyes. Looks good in Ray-Bans

Negative: Seems to really like his alcohol so with my genetics our kid would probably end up addicted to something before his or her 10th birthday

3. Jensen Ackles

Positives: Southern gentleman. Gorgeous eyes. Claims to be packing

Negative: I'm pretty sure my father would rather I get an abortion then give birth to the child of a Cowboys fan

4. Eric Dane

Positives: Rides a motorcycle. Gorgeous eyes. Built

Negative: Went grey early leading him to look much older than he actually is, no mother wants to inflict that on her child

5. Taylor Kitsch

Positives: Dirty sense of humor. Gorgeous eyes. Athletic

Negative: He's Canadian

What I learned from making this list (other than the fact that I'm insane which I already knew): I apparently have a thing for guys with nice eyes.

Tautou

With just two repeated lines, Brand New created what is hands down the sexiest song I have ever heard:

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea,

I'm burning like a bridge for your body.

a breif fangirl interlude

So I have a confession. I am a Twilight Saga fangirl.

To be fair I started reading the books before it became the teeny bopper sensation it now has become. I picked up the first book over spring break my freshman year of college and proceeded to finish it in two days. i read the second one in one and the third over the course of a week. I found them to be a nice break from my stressful reality (read: finals). It was only after reading them that i found out it was going to be made into a movie and to say i was over joyed would be an understatement.

For the next few months i silently reveled in my fangirl joy, not knowing anyone else who read the series. Then, before i knew it, suddenly everyone around me was reading them. My first rude awakening to the insanity of the fandom was at the midnight release for the fourth book. One of my best friends in high school went to our local barnes and noble for the party and upon entering i was immediately embarrased that i had something in common with the loud, annoying, squealing 13 year olds that surrounded me.

I read the fourth book and enjoyed it, then proceeded to wait for the movie to come out.

Luckily my fears that no one at school would want to see the movie with me were unfounded. A few days before the movie came out a few of my sisters and I bought tickets for the midnight showing of Twilight. I could barely contain my joy. Finally this movie that I had waited nine months for was happening. We got to the theater early and made sure to get good seats. I was practically jumping out of my seat when the movie started with Bella's voiceover.

15 minutes into the movie the only emotions i was feeling were dissapointment and anger. To say the movie sucked would be an understatement. Even the actors distaste for this movie they had spent months filming was palpable. I left the theater yelling about how all my excitement over the last nine months was for nothing.

Because the movie took in tons of money and it's a saga, the next movie is already in production and has a scheduled release date. When my sister asked me if i would be going to the midnight release i velmently told her no, saying i wouldn't waste 11 dollars on that pile of crap. I'd simply wait until the movie came out on DVD or some hacker put it online. But i might have spoke to soon.

Tonight the poster for the movie was released and words cannot describe how awesome it looks. Damn you poster maker. Damn you to hell.

oh captain my captain...

Saw Star Trek last night with my sister. It was a good movie, highly entertaining. I could say everything I thought about the movie, but this quote from Madeleine sums it up quite effectively:

"don't ask me what the movie was about, because i have no clue. The only thing i can tell you is Chris Pine is fine as hell."

Inside Sara's Studio...

I didn't mean for the title to sound dirty i swear. This is the list of questions that James Lipton asks at the end of each show.

1. What is your favorite word? perturbed... it's just really fun to say
2. What is your least favorite word? vagina... could they come up with a more disgusting word for female genitalia
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? a really good song
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? disloyalty... this answer may not make sense, but it was the only thing i could come up with
5. What sound or noise do you love? laughter
6. What sound or noise do you hate? my alarm clock
7. What is your favorite curse word? fuck... there are just so many ways you can say it
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? assuming my profession is (or will be) writer... i'd like to try being a singer/songwriter
9. What profession would you not like to do? cashier of any sort
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? get in here, your gramma's been waiting for you

A picture is worth a thousand words

A while ago I did this meme on LiveJournal. Basically there is a list of questions (name, favorite dessert, etc) and your supposed to enter your answers into the search bar on flickr and choose a picture from the first three pages. Once you have pictures for every answer you create a photo mosaic. I made this one a few months ago. I'll post the answers in a comment.

things to work on over the summer:

1. not letting the simple act of having a conversation with my father turn me into a raving lunatic.
2. watching the tone of my voice. it has a tendency to sound bitchy or judgy even when i don't mean for it to.
3. not getting so stressed out about very little things
4. wonderful sigma plans for next year
5. at the very least reading the books on my summer reading list
6. not spending money
7. being happy

I'm The Girl All The Rockstars Sing About

So I said in the subtitle of this blog that I'm a listener, but I've yet to post anything to listen to. I've decided to rectify that by posting five songs with my name in the title (spelt both correctly and incorrectly). Narcissistic? Yes. But also entertaining.

1. Sara Smile by Jimmy Wayne
This song is actually the reason why I was named Sara. Because my mission in life is to never like the original version by Hall & Oates I only have this cover version.
2. Sara's Song by Ludo
I've actually only listened to this song a few times, but I really like a lot of their other stuff so this song can't be too bad. especially if it has my name in the title.
3. Sarah Palin Rap by Amy Pohler
The song from Sarah Palin's lame ass excuse for an appearance on SNL. No one cared that she was in the skit, they were all too busy watching Amy Pohler be hysterical.
4. Zak And Sara by Ben Folds
One of Ben's best songs (and not just because my name is in the title). My favorite part of listening to this song is trying to clap along. If you've heard the song before you know what I mean.
5. What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie
This is the song that started everything for me. It is impossible not to burst into tears when you hear Ben Gibbard explain that love is watching someone die.

So I made it through the end of my Sophomore year. Although it nearly killed me, I am now officially a Junior. I really need to work on not letting my family's crazy expectations about my grades get to me so much. As aren't worth killing myself.

I got home yesterday and I swear it feels like I never left. My dad already dumped a huge to do list on me, my sisters were fighting within seconds of me walking in the door and rather than having a nice meal together, my parents went out to dinner.

I really hope the month before I start my internship goes quickly or else I'm probably going to end up killing someone in this house.

Things Currently Keeping Sara Sane...

1. being on the 5th page of my 10pg paper (due monday)
2. my ipod
3. the really good bagels i ate today
4. sunday's weather forecast and picnic plans
5. the fact that i'm slowly but surely crossing things off my to do list
6. ichat conversations
7. this picture:

Sara's life goal

To live in a loft in New York City with my favorite Big. One wall will be a massive bookshelf with one of those rolling ladders and the others will be covered in art and photographs. We will have the most comfortable couches ever and on rainy days we will skip school/work in order to read while listening to The Mountain Goats.

Because I'm a giant idiot and decided not to do any work this weekend, i'll probably end up dying from stress sometime in the near future. I basically have to devote every second of my life not spent in class either writing papers (2 research & 3 creative), studying for 3 finals, or figuring out how to store my stuff in Boston this summer since my father refuses to come get me. In short, as of tomorrow school owns me and has no plans of letting me go until may 6th.

Completeing all of this would be a lot easier if I actually gave a crap.

These are a few of my favorite things...

1. Music
2. Diet Coke with ice in large amounts
3. Hoodies
4. My bed
5. Salt
6. My new haircut

Don't think twice...

I admit it...

Bob Dylan is a genius.

Why I love Emerson...

Tomorrow I'll be going to my first therapy appointment in nearly two years.

Is it odd that I'm excited?

This summer's required (not really) reading list:

1. "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggars

I always heard this book was fantastic. A discussion in one of my classes today finally convinced me I needed to read it.

2. "Perfect Fifths" by Megan McCafferty

The fifth and final book in a series I've been reading since my freshman year of high school. If I had either the money or the time i would have already read it.

3. "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test

This book has been on my bookshelf since high school and I have yet to get passed the first page. That's going to change this summer.

4."Shiksa Goddess" by Wendy Wasserstein

A book of essays I started over Christmas break and then got too busy to finish.

5. "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris

Given to me as a gift, I think it's time I read more of his stuff other than "Naked".

If reincarnation is possible, I want to be reincarnated as Alisa Torres.

"I don't think people give you enough credit," Vicki says between puffs of her cigarette.

She's sitting on the ledge of her fire escape, body half outside the apartment, in an attempt to avoid giving me cancer. It's been raining all day and we've been stuck inside in her tiny SoHo apartment with nothing but Woody Allen movies and each other as entertainment.

I shrug.

"I think only people who have been in our situation can understand it."

She nods and inhales. I continue.

"You just reach a point where enough is enough, where you're tired of constantly letting your walls down only to get fucked over again so eventually..." I trail off.

"The walls stay up."

swear i knew it all along...

\\\
Originally uploaded by annawentz

Easter Weekend Recap

I just got back from spending Easter at my aunt Vicki's/home. Rather than doing a whole big recap I decided to write about my weekend in a more creative way.

Five things Sara likes:
1. Lazy days in which nothing is done but the mass consumption of pizza and Woody Allen Movies.
2. Learning privileged information. For some reason knowing things that only a few people or no one else knows makes me feel special.
3. Hearing someone say "I can't wait till you live near me, it will be great."
4. Getting my haircut at a chic salon called "DopDop" by a stylist named "Harmony."
5. Sending texts to the person sitting next to me and then being totally obvious about it by giggling about said text with them.

Five things Sara does not like:
1. Finding out a certain person has been lying to me for quite some time.
2. Losing things (specifically coats) and then having the weather switch from beautiful to horrible over night.
3. People who won't let a conversation die even after I've made clear that I (a) will handle it (b) no longer want to talk about it (c) am upset or (d) all of the above.
4. Realizing that I should really start seeing a therapist again, but not knowing how to tell my father this without him asking me a thousand questions.
5. Not being part of something/feeling left out.

Dear self,

You are an idiot.

Sincerely,
Yourself

So can we talk about what a horrible person I am?

I have absolutely no filter on my mouth and no matter how much trouble this has gotten me into in the past, I never learn. And I'm not talking cursing. Sometimes I simply don't think before I speak and I end up looking like a complete asshole.

Exhibit A: I'm in 7th grade and my friend's horse has just died. She has only owned the horse for a month tops. In an effort to comfort her, our friends are all spouting out words of condolence. Suddenly it's my turn and I say "or maybe you should have gotten a horse that wouldn't die". We weren't friends much longer.

Exhibit B: I'm in 12th grade and living with Rich and June (my stepfather and his mother) while I finish the school year. I am all about my independence and June is all about being the nurturing ever present grandma. During a car ride she turns to me and says "I'm going to miss taking care of you" (I was moving out in a few months). Again, not thinking I reply, "well it's not like you take care of me now." While I didn't see the harm in my response, Rich flipped out and nearly kicked me out of the house. It took an hour long conversation (during which I retold the horse story) and me apologizing 5,000 times for him to calm down.

And there's today... I'm honestly surprised she didn't slap me.

Originally uploaded by megan alice.

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Jared Followill (Kings Of Leon)
Originally uploaded by Pooneh!

Dear Jared Followill,

Please father my children.

Sincerely,
Sara

Things You Really Don't Need To Know About Me

Rather than doing a whole diatrabe about myself, I decided to finally do the "25 Random Things" thing floating around Facebook.

1. I'm known to obsess about things... hardcore. If anything peaks my interest I make it my mission to know everything about it. Current obsession, Kings of Leon.

2. I was named after "Sara Smile," a song by Hall & Oates. Daryll Hall wrote it about his then girlfriend Sara Allen. She now not only has a song written about her, but a child named after her as well.

3. I have a fear of walking down a flight of stairs. If I can't hold onto a banister I have to mentally prepare myself.

4. During high school I wrote a ridiculous amount of teen angst poetry. I truly thought I was going to get published. I had a pen name picked out and everything.

5. There is a good chance if I have nothing else to do, I will be either organizing my iTunes or making a playlist. For some reason I find it relaxing.

6. I am a human pretzel. I can lock both of my ankles behind my head. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you can find photographic proof.

7. Though I love music, I am neither vocally or instrumentally inclined. It took a few years of vocal lessons, musical theater, and attempts at the trumpet, violin, clarinet, guitar, and viola to come to this conclusion.

8. Though I've been known to be kind of bossy, I have a tendency to seek out friendships where I can take the subordinate role.

9. When I'm wearing headphones I lose the ability to control the volume of my voice.

10. I used to plan my birthday party months in advance. What actually ended up happening never matched the original plans.

11. When I'm home Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Why? Because it's bagel day.

12. In sixth grade I convinced everyone at school (students and teachers alike) to call me Nikki (short for my middle name, Nicole). I conveiniently forgot to mention this to my parents, so when they went to school for parent's night they were highly confused about why people were talking to them about a girl named Nikki.

13. I'm an incredibly territorial person. I get jealous if people I conisder "mine" pay more attention to someone else. I'm the same way with my favorite bands, books, tv shows, etc.

14. Though I crush easily, I've never been in love.

15. Even though she gets on my nerves sometimes, my gramma is my favorite person in the world, followed by my aunt vicki, followed by cousin michael. I try my best to express this to them, but I don't think they know how much I love them.

16. I am a very messy person, but I love organizing.

17. My favorite part of going back to school has always been school supply shopping. Nothing makes me happier than getting new pens and notebooks.

18. Before starting and finishing high school at OLVA, the longest I'd attended the same school was for two years (kindergarden and 1st grade at Benjiman Franklin Elementry school in Edison, NJ).

19. My favorite part of having friends is probably inside jokes.

20. Nothing can make me cry like an amazing song. The last one to turn me into a blubbering idiot was "Cold Desert" by Kings of Leon.

21. "I want to be divorced and living with two children on Central Park West" - Wendy Wasserstein.

22. College has robbed me of my love of reading.

23. For some reason, crossing the Mason Dixon line turns me into a raving bitch. I don't know if it's the heat or because it's impossible to get a minute to myself when I'm in Hilton Head, but it's not a good time to be around me.

24. I'm scared shitless of the future. I'm constantly fighting off the thought that I'll never be able to become successful in the career i've chosen for myself.

25. When I started this entry, I thought it was a fantastic idea. I've come to the conclusion that I'm an idiot.

Introduction

I don't write.

Wait.

That's a lie.

The truth is I'm a writing major who never takes the time to write for herself anymore. So that's what this is. I'm not sure what this blog is going to be about, but I'm hoping it somehow inspires me to like the profession I've (dumbly) chosen for myself.